Random Thoughts in My Head

Why do people try to solve personal issues over FB? I mean it is so much easier to deal with the issue head on in person so that the communication is clearly understood.  When you leave the issue physically and then try to put the issue on blast on FB that really doesn't solve the issue. It actually makes it just that more complicated because of how things are done.  I really don't understand why people believe that blasting people or situations out on FB will make them change or change the situation.  FB should not replace the full conversations that are required to keep any relationship strong.  Some people use FB to hide behind their masks and do others harm instead of socializing on a social network they use it to harm others or act a way they would never act in person.   They are two faced living one life on the net and a different one off of the net. But when you think about it are you really living on the net? In a sense you are you have your community of friends and you interact day to day almost like living a real life.  I don't know just a thought that popped into my head that I had to release.

You ever wonder why dogs chase their tails? If they catch it what are they going to do to it bite it off.  I have sat her for about 10 minutes watching my dumb dog go in circles trying to get her tail which is too short to really even catch.  And if she would just stop and think a little she would realize that if she sat a certain way she would be able to scratch that itch she has on her tail just right.  

So they are talking about the rapture happening tomorrow. Dang I didn't know we knew the time or the hour. Some of these religious freaks will do anything to get attention. I don't knock anyone's religion but gosh when you say dumb stuff and spread nonsense just for the hell of it I can't take it.   No one knows the day or the hour we know it WILL come and we may just be living in the last days. But to try and get people all in a panic based on your beliefs is just crazy. I read of a lady killing her son b/c she thought the world was coming to an end.  That is just crazy. I do know that no matter when  this ugly world of ours is gone and no more we all need to get right and do what is needed to be in His Glorious midst.

You ever wonder... You ever wonder what hair color they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? I mean do they put flesh tone?  or have you wondered why they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?  I mean are blind folks driving these days? Oh and If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? Is the audience the animals are we their broadway show every day?  Finally Why do banks charge you a "insufficient funds" fees on money they already know you don't have?  That's kind of stupid, wait no it's not as dumb as I thought that's how they make money of the money you don't already have SMH


One last thought what was Miss Alabama 1994 thinking by answering the question would you live forever and why with " I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." LOL In her defense she had a hearing impediment from the age of 18 months. Maybe she did not hear the full question. But, I thought about what she said today and was like hmmm she makes sense in some sort of crazy stupid way.  LOL Some things you just have to laugh at and pass the laugh on.  Laughter after all is great for the soul.


Well that's my randoms for the day I am sure more will come but I won't bore you any further.

Got Purpose?

What is your purpose in life?  My question to you is Got Purpose?


I believe that we were all sent here for a reason and that we all have significance in the world. I genuinely feel that we are all blessed with unique gifts. The expression of our gifts contributes to a cause greater than ourselves.


Personally these past few years have been eye opening for me. Since 2001 I have been in a whirlwind of a life. It has been times of sadness, love, anger, pain, happiness and so many other emotions that I can't even describe in words.  Throughout these years up until present day I had to determine what my real purpose was in life. I can't say that this was or is easy because it is still a work in progress. But, this work is more fulfilling than the life I was leading with little direction or thought to a purpose of my life.


Finally I had an "aha" moment... I had these questions running through my mind: What am I chasing after? Why am I chasing it? What is my purpose? Why was I put here?  Hmmm some questions that made me think and think I did. As I was thinking I vividly pictured the day of my funeral. I wondered what I wanted my eulogy to consist of? I wondered what my lifetime achievements would be? I wondered what would matter the most at the end of my life? And I wondered Is it what I am doing right NOW?


I started writing, which is the best outlet for me at all times. I also began listing all the things that are most important to me. I wrote down all the things I wanted to do. I re-visited my personal mission statement, yep I have a personal statement. Sometimes you have to run your life like a business and operate as such. I decided that whatever I commit to must align with my personal mission, my values and my goals. For every new opportunity that comes along, I would ask myself how it aligns with my goals. If anything did not align with where I wanted to be, then I would not pursue it or I would drop it.  I made this my way of living day to day.  My personal mission statement guided me that statement reads as such, "To Empower, motivate and inspire people to living happier and more fulfilled lives."   Simple to the point and something I truly live by.  If I can't empower, motivate, or inspire you through it I just won't be a part of it.  It really is just that simple in creating a purpose for your life. It has helped me to realize what is important and what is not important to fulfill the purpose in my life. 


Some people look at me and see what I want them to see. They have their own perceptions and run with them. That is just life and doesn't really matter to me as the perception that really matters is that of which I have of myself. As I said my purpose is to Empower, Motivate and Inspire..........so I want to share what made me make the decision to create a definite purpose in my life.

Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behaviour with your beliefs”

– Stephen Covey, ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’

A personal mission consists of 3 parts:

• What do I want to do?
• Who do I want to help?
• What is the result? What value will I create?

Steps to Creating Your Personal Mission Statement:

1. Do the exercise with the 15 questions above as quickly as you can.

2. List out actions words you connect with.

a. Example: educate, accomplish, empower, encourage, improve, help, give, guide, inspire, integrate, master, motivate, nurture, organize, produce, promote, travel, spread, share, satisfy, understand, teach, write, etc.

3. Based on your answers to the 15 questions. List everything and everyone that you believe you can help.

a. Example: People, creatures, organizations, causes, groups, environment, etc.

4. Identify your end goal. How will the ‘who’ from your above answer benefit from what you ‘do’?

5. Combine steps 2-4 into a sentence, or 2-3 sentences.

What is your purpose? What is your mission?  


Today, take a moment to take out a few sheets of loose paper and a pen, be honest and begin to write your personal mission statement, sit down and enjoy the moment and smile as you write. Find out what makes you smile, what makes you feel great about yourself, and who inspires you the most... Begin with those things and start writing out your personal mission statement to define your purpose in life.  


Be Blessed, Be Encouraged & Be a Blessing,


Racquel 

Rant Before Bed

I tell ya women crack me up. I try to be nice I try to be understanding  but there are some women that i just can't take. You know the woman that likes to stir crap up and then walk away.... Or the woman that can dish it out but can receive it back.... or that woman that talks a good game but she is all bark and no bite.  The woman that is too sensitive and everything anyone ever says to her she gets offended.   Or the woman who has the self esteem so low that she loves a man more than she even loves herself.  Those women get on my last nerve. Now I know I am not perfect, I never claimed to be, but there are just certain things that I feel that women need not be and those are the things listed above.  I come across so many people day to day and I am seeing the women described above more and more each day. Not only is it in the women but I am seeing it in their children too. When will the vicious cycle of women filled with drama and nonsense end? I say it ends here! I can't put up with the drama of some women. It all comes out of insecurities. If someone says boo to you the wrong way they are not saying that to offend you.  We as women need to really lighten up and realize that everything that is said and done in person or on facebook or on the phone is not to give us a blow to the belly.  Sometimes it is just talk and discussion and is harmless and meaningless chatter to pass the time. Women get it together we don't always have to be at each others throats. We can have discussions and be in each others presence without attitude and assumptions about one another drinking a large glass of haterade.  SMH it is getting a little crazy. But I digress.... Maybe it's me... maybe I'm the one with the real problem when I want to see women just be friendly and not bring out the claws every 7 seconds.... Nah it's not me Ladies we must do better in our interactions not only with each other but with everyone in our lives. Everything is not a fight. It is going to hurt you in the end if you continue on this path of destructive attitudes and behaviors.......

Random thought... You ever have the feeling that someone is always watching you? No matter where you go there is always someone watching your actions? So many people, including myself, forget that the internet is so vast and can reach so many and that we are always being watched.  The internet has taken big brother watching you to a whole other level. Now it's big brother, sister, friend, coworker just chilling watching your life play through on the net.  Are we relying to much on this venue that we are losing focus on the real things in life? I know sometimes I do, sometimes I'd rather communicate via the net instead of the phone.  Sometimes I'd rather receive a text than a call. I know it's kind of sad that we get so caught up in this whole new technological age that we lose focus on what's important. I know I have to step back often to regroup and readjust.

Last thought.... I found it funny that a young man told me that I looked like I was 25. He actually made my day b/c he was so complimentary. I guess he was trying to rap to this old chick LOL. I told him he was very nice and then he said so what are you doing tonight.... errr uhhh little boy I am going to live. He proceeded to continue on how he was looking for a girlfriend. So at that point as he was putting my groceries in my car I had to stop him. Poor kid was young enough to be my child. But I thought it was still cute that he sucked  up his pride and tried to kick it LOL When he finished putting my groceries up I said you are a nice young man keep up the good work. He laughed as said well just b/c you are old enough to be my mom we still can't go out...I just laughed and go in my car. It cracked me up b/c these kids are getting really bold and hold nothing back. Kinda scared me b/c I know if the young men are like that the young women are too. So I have my radar up for the little fast ones trying to rap to my son. LOL But it's good to know that this 40+ woman can still hold a candle to a 20 something year old :-)

That's enough for the night, well late night. I know my thoughts are random you can read em and share em or you can just pass them by. Either way it is an outlet for me to empty the thoughts in my head so in the morning they won't bother you LOL

Nite all!

Mastering Your Emotions

Often our emotions get the best of us. Many are controlled by them, allowing themselves to fall into a pattern of speaking and acting out of emotions.

Today I have chosen to actively control each emotion that I feel today and not act and speak through them. I heard someone say, "When we allow our emotions to enter into our discussions over conflicting and differing opinions we cloud the issues and detract from the issues." This is so true often your anger, sadness, hurt feelings get the best of you and you begin to speak and act in the way of the emotion. Making your argument pretty much null and void. You could be making a valid point but it is so wound up in feelings that it makes your rational thought a thing of the past. When this happens you risk losing the respect of the person and you hand control over to them in the palm of your hands.

We have heard the expression, "wearing your heart on your sleeve".... well People who wear their heart on their sleeve do not hold back their emotions, for good or for bad. It is clear how they feel in each moment. This type of emotional outbursts can cause major problems in a person's life.

When situations and conflicts arise in your life take a moment to take a breath. Bite your tongue, I count to ten and sometimes say a prayer. State your position calmly and without the extra added pieces of your emotions. Everyone is not your hater and each person is not always out to get you. This is part of emotionally dealing with a situation. Remove those feelings and deal with the issue at hand.

Remember there is a time and place to show your emotions. We own our emotions! Take personal responsibility for the part you play while leading in a emotion filled way. We must be mature individuals and know the appropriate time, place and way to show our emotions. If we don't get control of our emotions, we are sure to stay in conflict and never be a part of the solution but continuously stay a part of the problem!


Be Blessed, Be Encouraged & Be a Blessing!

Racquel

The Big Spring Clean

Spring is such a beautiful time of year.  With all the rain and sun, things get greener everyday. You throw your windows up and allow the fresh air to to stir through your rooms.  Isn't it a great feeling to be in a bright room with a fresh breeze flowing through it? I mean it gives you a sense of new possibilities as the bitter cold of winter gets behind us for a while. During the spring season we always have the urge to begin cleaning. To freshen up, to try something new, to rearrange furniture or get all the clutter organized.


It's the same with our lives.  You know spring cleaning is not just for your home anymore!  After years of doing things the same way our lives can get musty & stale.Sometimes we need to throw light into dark corners and brighten up our perspectives.  Sometimes we need to rearrange some people in our lives or throw away activities that clutter our schedules. Other times we need to organize the rooms of our lives.

With spring comes a momentum.  We need to use that momentum to freshen up our lives and invite others to do the same. Today evaluate what is dusty and what could be refreshed in your life and feel the breeze of possibility move within you.  Remember Spring Cleaning is not just for the home it's important in our lives.








Racquel
"Be Blessed, Be Encouraged and Be a Blessing!"

Random Thoughtery

Well I had to finally  bite the bullet and go and put gas in my car.  Well I was already mad this morning because I wasted a whole bottle of insulin for my son, but I will get to that a little later in this blog. So I pull up to the gas pump and look to see which organ I will have to give up to fill up my tank.  To my surprise the pump talked to me saying it didn't want my liver or kidney or even my first born for the gas, just $3.39 per gallon. I said to myself Damn you may as well take one of my kidney's. So I proceeded to go into the gas station to pay $40.00 for a tank that will probably take $70.00 worth of gas. While there I had to get some hazlenut coffee and a bagel so I proceed to the counter. A lady is in my way so as politely as I could in my angered mode I said, "Excuse me ma'am can I get to the coffee pot in front of you."  She looked at me smiled, I kinda smirked back, you know cause I'm from NY you can't smile at everyone & was in angry mode, and she said, "sure." So I stepped in front of her and got my divinely smelling hazlenut 12 oz. of coffee. Ahhhhh heavenly smell just a complete smell orgasm.... Anyway I turn to go put my creamer in sugar in and I walk over to get a spoon, b/c you know those little skinny stirrers never really stir your coffee.... but as I go to get the spoon and I turn to go back to the area to put my sugar in I bump into the lady I asked to move.  Here is the exchange:

Me:  Oh I apologize I really didn't see you behind me.
Lady:Oh that's ok let me buy you a cup of coffee.
Me: Oh thank you but that's ok, I probably need to purchase a larger cup after stepping all over you(laugh)
Lady: (Laughs heartily and moves to the register)
Me: (Walks to the register)
Lady: Ma'am come here
Me: (walks to the lady) Yes ma'am
Lady: I purchased your coffee you have a great day (Walks out of the store)


She walked out the store before I got a chance to say thank you.  What a way to start your day. Can you imagine how quick my anger left me? Sometimes people can really be a blessing to you and create a totally different mood in you by a statement, a smile, a good deed.  This woman didn't know me from Adam but God knew I needed something to get me out that funky mood.  Random Thoughtery: it is awesome to realize how trivial anger is. It's much better to enjoy the day and every second in it through the half full cup of  coffee. The other thought is LOL,OMG  & WTF are not fair gas prices.




Ok So you know that I broke a completely FULL bottle of insulin this morning. I mean really WTH I drop the whole casing and when I opened up the case insulin everywhere. SMH that damn insulin is a good little drop in the freaking bucket.  So my son looks at me as if to say, who are you going to yell at yourself? Little smart ass. I was so mad what a waste. If I hadn't been fussin at my son and rushing it would not have happened.  Random Thoughtery: Get the memo, Stop freaking sweating the small stuff & it is all small stuff. Take your time and don't allow everything to get to you.




You know I am so tired of hearing about Charlie Sheen.  He is making a killing out of publicizing his drug addiction and bipolar tendencies. Now he thinks he is Hugh Hefner my having girlfriends he calls Goddesses.  What a freaking joke. So each news station decides this is real news and continue to talk about it day to day. I am wondering why it took them so long to remove the children from his care.  His ramblings are just that rambles with no rhyme or reason.   His eyes are sunken into his skinny face & his neck shows how much drugs he is really doing. The only way this man will awaken from his craziness is when he hits rock bottom and he is so close to that bottom if not already there.  Random Thoughtery: Charlie Sheen needs help someone please intervene before his children end up fatherless. SMH




Random questions...


Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball? I mean really LOL you already threw the ball unless you have some special powers moving your arms back and forth will mean nothing.  LOL


If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? I say yes throw that kid in baby prison, it's called the crib LOL


How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on? I mean really think about it LOL


This one I never understood, Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Duh how about you count the stars before you touch the paint smh ROTFL


Ok those are all the randoms I have for the day.... I am sure I will come up with more...


Until then


Be Blessed, Be Encouraged & Be a Blessing!


Racquel

Children & Communication

You know communication is hard between adults. I mean things can get twisted and misunderstood, but usually as adults we can figure out what to say, how to say it and how to take what someone is saying.  But the communication between adults and children I believe is the hardest.  You have to make sure that you are communicating not only in an effective manner but in a way that is not demeaning the child or hurting them in any way.  After all we are not really raising children we are raising adults.

As I sat and watched a conversation between an adult and a child, I saw the worst coming.  I saw it go from a simple conversation to a complex one with many different layers.  Not only did it get heated it became the highlight of the day filled with anger, hurtful words and sadness.

Now you know back in the day when we were kids we were always told that we should be seen not heard.  That we should stay in a child's place and never engage in adult conversation. As children we were often treated as second class citizens in the family with no voice and no feelings.  The way we were treated we often tend to treat our children. Not because it is right but because it is all we know and have experienced.

Well times have changed and the tactics used to raise us, although they worked for us, are not always the tactics that can be used for our own children or grandchildren.  Often times we attempt to discipline our child with outdated tactics and unresolved childhood issues that harbor in us.  We use poor communication to converse with our children and get angry when our children rebel against those tactics.  We yell, scream, curse, use hurtful words in demonic tones only to receive the same back from our children.

After witnessing this exchange, I had to step back and really evaluate the levels of communication that we all share with our children or children that we interact with. I realized that we as adults who still use these antiquated tactics, are only hurting the child that we so gracefully use them on.  Not only are we training them to communicate inappropriately with others but we are hindering that child in their growth mentally and emotionally.   It is not ok to yell and scream and cuss and fuss and call a child names. It is never ok to be so angry at a child that you have no idea what you are saying and how it affects that child. It's not ok to use the same language you would use with an adult with a child. At some point and time we must realize that children are so impressionable and will become the adults that they see us be. It serves us no good to not be in control of our own feelings of anger to a child. We hurt ourselves and damage our children in the process.

You know as I viewed the exchange I waited until they were done and walked up to the adult and asked why.  She said why what? I proceeded to ask her why are you damaging your child with such horrible talk and negative acts. She kind of caught a little tude and said that is what worked with her. Well we had a long conversation afterwards about the art of communication with children. I know I am nosey and sometimes I get in business I shouldn't get into but the communication between the two really irked me.

I have to say communication is important in any relationship. Including the relationship you have with your children. We must remember  that we are not raising children, that would be very easy, we are raising adults. What we do they will see and ultimately become.  If we lose our cool and show our anger incorrectly most likely our children will follow. It's time to reassess how we are relating to our children and what we allow ourselves to say and do to them. Abuse can come in the form of your communication Don't wait until it is too late when your child feels so unloved that they want to run away or commit suicide. Take the time to talk to your children and most importantly listen you will be amazed at what  you will find out and how their lives and interaction with you will change.

Be Blessed, Be Encouraged & Be a Blessing,
Racquel